Gumdrops and lollipops

That's what I wish life was all about...

I don't know where to start in regards to my weekend. It's hard to talk about it, b/c right now I'm only thinking about how much Monday sucks and wondering why the dentist had to make me feel bad about myself. Seriously, I was strapped (figuratively) in the chair b/w the dentist and his aide lady and they were tag teaming me with the benefits of invisalighn. I've never been pressured to try drugs (you know, like you're walking home and outside of a playground two "punk" kids try to make you smoke the weed?) but I have a feeling it would go a little like this. By the end of my session, I was like "Yeah, invisalighn, sounds great." Until they had their little cashier/receptionist girl bring me a preliminary bill and I started laughing. Seriously. In. Her. Face. Followed by my response of "You did see that I put down assistant for occupation." To which she said "But we have a payment plan." Then me "Unless that payment plan can be spread out over the next 20 years, it's not going to work." Looks like they cornered the wrong girl on the playground. After that, it even got worse, when I asked to be put on a payment plan for my $185 visit (I'm poor, I have no shame in admitting it) and I didn't pass the credit check. I'm telling you, it's that f*cking Hollywood Video that claims I rented some movie for a year and a half and they're trying to charge me $120. They may ruin my credit, but I'm not budging. I mean, even Blockbuster didn't come after me and I have TWO videos I rented from their establishment and never returned (and one I never even watched). So I hope Mr. Hollywood Video himself is reading today, b/c you can try to intimidate me with your letters and credit collectors, but you will never see that $120. Never!
So my weekend...went to Brad's Friday night to finish libations from Sunday's Oscar party....and finish I did. After knocking back 3 strong by my standards drinks, Kathy arrived to whisk me away to Barney's Beanery where, shocker, I drank some more. And then...then right before closing I saw the most beautiful boy/man/guy/person ever across the room (or two feet away). So with my drunken courage, knowing he's out of my league (not an insult to my self, just a fact) I walk up to him and just say "Hi" (and probably something else though I can't remember). As it turned out, you can be both man pretty AND have a good personality, b/c even though I don't remember his name or a damn thing he said, I remember him being funny and me laughing. And his friends saying I was hilarious. And them ignoring other girls and talking to me instead. So take that, all you LA girls with your boobs and your a**es squeezed into your Seven jeans and your one of a kind Louis Vitton purse that's oh so special b/c it's in a different color yet looks exactly the same...sometimes personality counts more than looks. (By sometimes, I mean that one time).
And there's more. After Barney's, went back to Kathy's where we continued to drink like we were being initiated into a frat until 7 in the morning where we came up w/ the brilliant idea to go to the beach and swim. Until we stepped outside and I said "Uh uh...too cold. Let's get breakfast instead." So on the way to breakfast we decide to go to Vegas. And then when we realize we can't b/c Kathy has to be back that night, we instead to go the Morongo casino outside Palm Springs and gamble all day. And I lose $100 playing blackjack. I have no luck, can't catch a break, I'm wondering if God is mad that I've said bad things about him. Most I'm ever up is $7 on a poker machine, where I'm sitting next to this octagenerian with an attitude about the drink prices, but while I'm slowly losing my $7 profit, she's winning $45. B*tch. No need to go on...I lost $100 and I'm depressed. That's $100 I could have put toward my invisalighn.
Last but not least, Sunday Randy and myself walked to see Ashley run the marathon. When she reached us I decided it would be funny to tell her my legs hurt from walking 12 blocks (they did!) while she was approaching mile 19. She didn't so much laugh as not respond. Hey, with the walk back that was 24 blocks for me. I'm hard core.
R.